what is it that we really want?

discussing relational issues with a friend lately made me think about my declarations about what it is i really want in terms of love. sometimes i can describe so clearly what i'm looking for, and at other times it's just a muddied picture of a distant future that seems all the more unattainable with each passing day. maybe whittling down such ideals into perfection in this department of your vision isn't as good of an idea as it seems to be, but having no ideals at all will not work either. you end up having something you thought you wanted, but really didn't. there's no point in that. deep rationalization of certain things should just not be done.