how's life?

i'm desparate. i can't stand myself being the way i am. i have to beg myself to do something, to crawl out of the hole i've dug for myself. i feel entrapped; closed in. the longer i'm here, stuck like this, the more inward i feel myself turning. my body is eating my soul alive. the world passes by in its hurried gait while i watch from my cage awaiting my chance to burst out and pounce from my tranqilized state. where does the time go? days and nights blur together like a fast forwarded tape. i can only imagine my vision but not envision myself being there. how? which way to go? the fork in the road leads to too many different outcomes. how do i know which one to take? where's that magic crystal ball when you need it? stop wasting time. do what needs to be done and be done with it. be a nine to fiver. be the dull and boring person that everyone is meant to be. there is no special shining light that makes you different from anyone else. why abuse, why suffer, why torrment oneself for something so menial? meaningless life that tries to suck you in with its responsibilities and its rights and wrongs. meaningless life that marketeers try and make glittery by posting scantily clad beautiful women with every known product possible. meaningless life that makes you feel worthless and unworthy. i will not be sucked in by you so easily. you can't trick me. under it all, you are still a meaningless life.