mom's a callin'

Funny how somethings work out sometimes. when put into perspective (and you really need to put this into perspective), you finally realize what a damned bitch you've been most your life. interesting. john brings up an absolutely valid point. how is it that an almost-insignificant-not-even-real fight make it into my journal but me yelling heinously at my mother on her birthday seemed to have skipped my mind? hmmm... gee, i wonder why i would exclude such an event?
well, it seems that yelling at my mother has become a daily event these days, no longer important enough to pass thought on for more than a day but just enough to make me a bit guilty for about an hour or so. reason number two: the incident with My caused me to realize what a materialistic bitch i really am. incident with my mom caused me to recall what a bitch i really am, that doesn't really count as a life realization since i already knew.

i remember a few years ago when i would read about women telling stories about their lives in cosmo. i used to think 'wow, they're so grown up, so mysterious', and they were 21, 22. and now i still sometimes read cosmo and these little stories about these young women. and i go 'wow, they're so grown up, so mysterious' and i realize that i'm 21. how is it that i feel so inadequate for my age? i don't belong in the 20's age group, i'm nothing more than a 13 year old stuck in a 13 year old's body. sigh... i guess youth is escaping me a little faster than i thought it would. least i know i can still throw temper tantrums like a baby. not much of a consolation prize, though is it?